“Never” poems | How to write a silly poem with your homeschoolers

by | Aug 26, 2019 | Poetry

Today, why not spark a bit of fun by having the kids write a silly poem? After all, sometimes we homeschoolers need a break from the same-old-same-old.

With only a few simple rules to get them started, your budding poets should produce some gems in no time at all!

Understand Alliteration

When your children write a silly poem, they’ll need to choose a sound to repeat using a poetic device called alliteration.

al·lit·er·a·tion is the repetition of a consonant sound at the beginning of a word.

Usually, the alliterative words start with the same letter. Here’s one example:

Betty Botter bought some butter,
But,” she said, “the butter’s bitter.”

Just because alliterative words need to start with the same sound doesn’t mean they have to start with the same letter. Even though the words in this example start with different spellings, they all make the /sh/ sound:

Charlotte shared her sugar
With a shaggy sheep named Shannon.

What funny things would your kids "never" do? Let those ideas inspire them to write a silly poem as a homeschool activity.

How to Write a Silly Poem

To write a silly poem, your children will write one sentence for each of the following, repeating their chosen consonant sound as many times as possible.

  1. Something you would never eat.
  2. An item you would never wear.
  3. Something you would never buy.
  4. Something you would never do.
  5. Someplace you would never go.
  6. Something you would always like to think about.
  7. “And I promise I will never …”

Show your kids the following example. Point out how the /b/ sound repeats throughout the poem.

Of Blue Biscuits and Bouncing Balls
I would never eat blue biscuits.
I would never wear a baggy beaded bonnet with brown buttons.
I would never buy a blind baboon's broken bicycle.
I would never read a book about boat-building in Bulgaria.
I would never go to Brooklyn to get bologna.
I would always like to think about bouncing balls in the bathtub.
And I promise I will never let Bubba's bunny eat barbecued beans for breakfast.

Once their “Never” poems are finished, invite them to choose some words from the poem and write a title.

Write Your Own Silly Poem!

Poetry should be shared! I hope you’ll post your child’s silly “Never Poem” in the comments.

WriteShop Primary & Junior | Elementary Creative Writing Curriculum

Five of the WriteShop Primary and WriteShop Junior levels incorporate poetry lessons! In at least one assignment per level, children learn the mechanics of a new kind of poem and apply what they learn to compose a creative piece. Poetry often gets a bad rap, but these activities teach kids how fun and inviting poetry can be!

WriteShop writing curriculum is the perfect complement to whatever homeschool language arts program you are using.


  1. Batavia age 7

    The Funny Poem
    I would never eat hot ham with hay.
    I would never wear horrible hair at home.
    I would never buy a hippo stuck to a hoe.
    I would never hop horribly with a horse on hairy heels.
    I would never go to Hawaii in a hurricane with a hostile hippie
    I would always like to think about healthy horses happily hugging me in Holly Hills.
    And I promise I will never hook a hoe to a hurricane if I am happy.

  2. Wendy

    I would never eat white watermelon in Washington.
    I would never wear wide wobbly walking shoes while washing a walrus.
    I would never buy a wry warble with waxed wings.
    I would never do whatever wacky William wants.
    I would always like to think about warm welcoming wishes.
    And I promise I will never wander with whispering wizards watching.

  3. denia

    me encanta

  4. Janice Prusator

    Thanks Kim,
    I will use this activity for a poetry workshop we are having tomorrow, before our upcoming Poetry Coffeehouse.

    I Would Never by J Prusator
    I would never eat… frog legs and cow tongue without whipped cream.
    I would never wear…a string bikini – in my widest dream.
    I would never buy… stock in a Ponzi scheme.
    I would never do … a back-flip on a spike-covered balance beam.
    I would never go… to a back-alley restaurant with a cannibal theme.
    I would always like to believe I’m on God’s winning team.
    And I promise I will never ever use “irregardless” in a sentence.

    • Kim Kautzer

      Janice: I was smiling till I got to “irregardless”—and then I laughed out loud! What a great Never poem! I hope your fellow poets enjoy the exercise tomorrow.

  5. Mickey

    Do you have any mentor text suggestions to go along with this activity? I am teaching a group of 5th graders.

    • Kim Kautzer

      I’m sorry, I don’t, Mickey.

      Have fun! I’m sure your kiddos will love it. 🙂

  6. Tammie

    Love this so much my kids tried it today!!!

    • Kim Kautzer

      How fun, Tammie! I’d love to see what they came up with!

  7. Kim

    Melissa: I’m so glad you shared your fabulous poem. It made me giggle a few times! Hope to see your students’ offerings as well. It’s always fun to see what these poetry prompts can produce.

  8. Melissa Morgan

    Here is an example I wrote to use as a sample for my students. I can’t wait to teach it. I would love to post what they write. Thank you!

    Playing with Pickled Pumpkin and Pitbulls

    I would never eat pickled pumpkin
    I would never wear a pink polka-dotted parka
    I would never buy a purple plastic purse
    I would never read a book about pesky porcupines preying on pollywogs
    I would never go to Pennsylvania to purchase pencils and peanut butter pie
    I would always like to think about plenty of pianos playing for partygoers on the patio
    And I promise I will never let pitbulls get picked on by pathetic punks

  9. Kim

    Fantastic, Kayla! Hope you come back and post their poems!

  10. Kayla Arrowood

    We are going to totally do this soon!!! Sounds and looks so fun for my kiddos!



  1. How I'm Teaching Poetry This Year ~ The Organized Homeschooler - […] How to Write Never Poems – This poetry style will create hilarious poems while also teaching alliteration. […]
  2. Celebrate National Poetry Month in your Homeschool Homeschool Encouragement - […] Write a “Never” Poem from Write Shop […]

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.