“Never” poems | Write a silly poem

What funny things would your kids "never" do? Let those ideas inspire them to write a silly poem.

Today, why not have your children write a silly poem? With only a few simple rules to get them started, they should produce some gems in no time at all.

Alliteration

When your children write their “Never” poems, they will need to choose a sound to repeat using alliteration.

al·lit·er·a·tion is the repetition of a consonant sound at the beginning of a word.

Betty Botter bought some butter,
But,” she said, “the butter’s bitter.”

Charlotte shared her sugar
With a shaggy sheep named Shane.

Directions

To write your “Never Poem,” you will write one sentence for each of the following, repeating your chosen consonant sound as many times as possible.

  1. Something you would never eat.
  2. Something you would never wear.
  3. Something you would never buy.
  4. Something you would never do.
  5. Someplace you would never go.
  6. Something you would always like to think about.
  7. “And I promise I will never …”

Once their poems are finished, invite them to choose some words from the poem and write a title.

Of Blue Biscuits and Bouncing Balls

I would never eat blue biscuits.
I would never wear a baggy beaded bonnet with brown buttons.
I would never buy a blind baboon’s broken bicycle.
I would never read a book about boat-building in Bulgaria.
I would never go to Brooklyn to get bologna.
I would always like to think about bouncing balls in the bathtub.
And I promise I will never let Bubba’s bunny eat barbecued beans for breakfast.

Your Turn

Poetry should be shared! I hope you’ll post your kids’ “Never Poems” in the comments.

. . . . .

Photo of blue ball © Sharyn Morrow. Used by permission.

 

14 Comments

  • Posted April 3, 2012

    Kayla Arrowood

    We are going to totally do this soon!!! Sounds and looks so fun for my kiddos!

  • Posted April 3, 2012

    Kim

    Fantastic, Kayla! Hope you come back and post their poems!

  • Posted April 6, 2015

    Melissa Morgan

    Here is an example I wrote to use as a sample for my students. I can’t wait to teach it. I would love to post what they write. Thank you!

    Playing with Pickled Pumpkin and Pitbulls

    I would never eat pickled pumpkin
    I would never wear a pink polka-dotted parka
    I would never buy a purple plastic purse
    I would never read a book about pesky porcupines preying on pollywogs
    I would never go to Pennsylvania to purchase pencils and peanut butter pie
    I would always like to think about plenty of pianos playing for partygoers on the patio
    And I promise I will never let pitbulls get picked on by pathetic punks

  • Posted April 6, 2015

    Kim

    Melissa: I’m so glad you shared your fabulous poem. It made me giggle a few times! Hope to see your students’ offerings as well. It’s always fun to see what these poetry prompts can produce.

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  • Posted April 4, 2016

    Tammie

    Love this so much my kids tried it today!!!

    • Posted April 5, 2016

      Kim Kautzer

      How fun, Tammie! I’d love to see what they came up with!

  • Posted April 18, 2016

    Mickey

    Do you have any mentor text suggestions to go along with this activity? I am teaching a group of 5th graders.

    • Posted April 18, 2016

      Kim Kautzer

      I’m sorry, I don’t, Mickey.

      Have fun! I’m sure your kiddos will love it. 🙂

  • Posted April 25, 2016

    Janice Prusator

    Thanks Kim,
    I will use this activity for a poetry workshop we are having tomorrow, before our upcoming Poetry Coffeehouse.

    I Would Never by J Prusator
    I would never eat… frog legs and cow tongue without whipped cream.
    I would never wear…a string bikini – in my widest dream.
    I would never buy… stock in a Ponzi scheme.
    I would never do … a back-flip on a spike-covered balance beam.
    I would never go… to a back-alley restaurant with a cannibal theme.
    I would always like to believe I’m on God’s winning team.
    And I promise I will never ever use “irregardless” in a sentence.

    • Posted April 25, 2016

      Kim Kautzer

      Janice: I was smiling till I got to “irregardless”—and then I laughed out loud! What a great Never poem! I hope your fellow poets enjoy the exercise tomorrow.

  • Posted June 5, 2016

    denia

    me encanta

  • Posted June 8, 2016

    Wendy

    I would never eat white watermelon in Washington.
    I would never wear wide wobbly walking shoes while washing a walrus.
    I would never buy a wry warble with waxed wings.
    I would never do whatever wacky William wants.
    I would always like to think about warm welcoming wishes.
    And I promise I will never wander with whispering wizards watching.

  • Posted June 16, 2016

    Batavia age 7

    The Funny Poem
    I would never eat hot ham with hay.
    I would never wear horrible hair at home.
    I would never buy a hippo stuck to a hoe.
    I would never hop horribly with a horse on hairy heels.
    I would never go to Hawaii in a hurricane with a hostile hippie
    I would always like to think about healthy horses happily hugging me in Holly Hills.
    And I promise I will never hook a hoe to a hurricane if I am happy.

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